Summer Survival Strategists Pillows

Scouting just hasn't been the same since Troop 90 found a long enough extension cord so they could sing around the air conditioner.

Another thing is that it's really cool in the summer!

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

65 Million Years Ago

"Really! How many 'How to Survive the Festive Season' articles does one man need?"

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'I hate evolution!'

Working Environment

Prepper Dog

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

The trap

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

"Just junk mail."

I'm starting a lawn-mowing service instead of going to camp. Excellent. Can I have a loan to get started? What for? Gas can, tool cart, mower blade, sharpening and insurance in case I cut off my foot or someone's prized peony. Maybe we can afford summer camp. It's a bargain.

Relief for America in the Heat.

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'Eureka! -- A cure for the summertime blues!'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"