Summer Survival Strategists Pillows

Scouting just hasn't been the same since Troop 90 found a long enough extension cord so they could sing around the air conditioner.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

"I've just barbecued my head again."

65 Million Years Ago

'What'll it cost me to got in shape for yardwork season?'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

'I'll just put them here until the danger of frost passes - probably next April'

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

'I hate evolution!'

Working Environment

The trap

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

Prepper Dog

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

"I'll see your two and raise you three."

"Did no one tell you that at this time of year everybody flies south?"

Man gets round hosepipe ban by showering in the garden

"You will note that their ability to comprehend, assess and process information increases dramatically when Professor Podhertz throws in the cat."

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'Eureka! -- A cure for the summertime blues!'

Relief for America in the Heat.

"How can I word this Christmas card to my boss without wishing him a merry Christmas?"

"Well, they're circling counter-clockwise, so we must be in the southern hemisphere."

"Just junk mail."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

"Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you?" "Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees." "Well, I'd like to have How to Get Off an Island, by Archie Macguyver." "That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness." "We really should have our own book review show."

Intense summer sun