Summer Sales Gifts

'Yes, I realize it's April. Why do you think I'm offering the 10% discount?'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

Larry's used art

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

On holiday.

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Great! We're still going up! Chop a hole in the ceiling!"

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Lethal Presentation

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Freshest ice cream in town!

Sales chart is buildings in background.

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."