Summer Salad Enthusiast Mugs

Policeman wishing for lighter food than meat in hot weather

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

Build Your Own Portfolio

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

'Like death by salad.'

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

'I realize it's not on the menu but I'm on a diet and I'd like an air fern salad.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

'Diet considerations.'

"I feel like I'm cosplaying as a salad bar."

"It's been 10 years Martha, why are we still eating quinoa?"

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"What about the five that fell through?"

Chef picking salad leaves from a hanging basket outside his restaurant.

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Vegetarian Restaurant: Choose Your Own Cabbage

'I didn't know it was a one-trip salad bar!'

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

Cinema with a salad bar in its lobby.

"More croutons, sir?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Free salad bar.

'If a tomato is a fruit, why don't you get it in fruit salad?'

"I'll just have a small salad. . . say 400 pounds of fresh river vegetation."