Summer Nostalgia Champion Gifts

"Don't think of it as the first day of school. Think of it as the beginning of the end."

Football fans discuss a deceased manager: A giant, a legend, much loved. Didn't we sack him?

"Gracie, why so sad?"

'Gotta hang up now. My mom wants to recycle the phone.'

"What I Had Done Over My Summer Vacation."

Rugby golden oldies.

Paleo Camp

"Can I call you back? I'm creating happy memories of my childhood for my father."

'Yes, I was very popular as a child. I had lots of imaginary friends.'

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

'Sky. . . earth. . . trees. . . birds. . . what a novel idea.'

"Hell of a way to end the summer."

"I miss fine stores everywhere."

Things Your Mother Would Never Let You Do Olympic Games

A call to save energy, based loosely on the style of second world war posters

"Summer may be ending, but thankfully wine is year round."

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"At this time of the summer, I hate time."

"We've known each other for a while now, so I feel it's the right time to ask – are you a psychological manifestation of my nostalgic longing of a romanticised past?"

'Mmm that's a bit different for 8:45.'

"So how was your first week of school?"

"Tia Carmen, how come Dad doesn't let me pop fireworks?"

The Last Fling of Summer

Earvin is having second thoughts about getting a cellular pay-phone.

Cricketers

"He has a pulled tendon, so keep it as high as your bursitis will let you, but take it easy with your fast ball because of my bone chips."

"I got the trick knee playing high school sports. The bum knee is more recent."

"How soon after the summer ends can we start to complain about not taking full advantage of the summer?"

A man walks through the desert on a landline.