Summer Gatherings T-Shirts

"Well, at least you remembered the bottle opener this time!"

"What about the five that fell through?"

"It looks like I'm going another whole summer without having a clambake."

Family Barbecue

'We'll only have a five minute window, everything has to be timed to the last second.'

The perennial summer problem of demons in the barbecue.

'I know adding beer when barbequeing reduces health risks, but I think you're supposed to add it to the meat.'

"Smoke signals from my neighbor's grill. He's asking if he can borrow some ice."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

The Busy Gardener

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Steak Ted?'

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

The end of summer is near and you still haven't made plans

Tension filled the tent.

Scene of seagull troops about to charge a picnic.

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

The prying mantis,

You can take the boy out of Wimbledon...

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

His New Grillfriend

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

The devil you know and his plus one

Polygamists' Picnic

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Sure, it's our pool. . . but who's going to tell him that?'

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."