Summer Fetes Mugs

Face painting - children have no faces

Prize vegetables.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

What say we rough it today and go without ice in our drinks!

Tension filled the tent.

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"I've just barbecued my head again."

Polygamists' Picnic

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

'It's baseball season!'

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

Hang in there, folks...black fly season is almost over."

Barbecue

"What about the five that fell through?"

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"That's the deep end."

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

Face painting children with no facial features.

'My parents only said 'don't accept rides from strangers,' but I'm the one asking to go with YOU.'

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

Rabbits picknick

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

'Just bring a few hundred sausages, plenty of wine and of course your barbeque.'

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

Family Barbecue

'Mum...Dad's barbecued his face again!'

"The potato salad maintains its Aa rating this year, but I'm afraid the deviled eggs are downgraded to C."

'If you insist on doing the barbeque,I insist on alerting the Fire Brigade !'

Ventriloquist's fete