Successful Date Pillows

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Butterfly Woman

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

Bullseye!

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Boom

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

It's important to women that a man has a good relationship with his mother. Why's that? House of Java .Net Cybercafe. Because how a man treats his mother is a good indicator of how he'll treat a girlfriend. That's why I created an app that calls your phone and displays a photo of you hugging your mom whenever a gorgeous lady is within three feet of you. It also displays a nice, sweet lady whenever you're within three feet of your mom.

"I didn't really start applying myself seriously until around the eighth life."

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Jumping Man

'I became successful when my dreams changed from the Cary Grants of the world to federal grants.'

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Just our luck. We finally see the 'feel good' movie of the year and it's December."

'I told you not to order the chocolate cream surprise.'

"I love the equation that describes the slope of your nose."

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"I know by outward standard I'm successful, but a voice inside my head keeps saying, 'Where's your private plane?"

"Romance"

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

'Shouldn't you be somewhere clawing yourself to the top, or something?'

"I'm pretty sure it was rising to the top and not having to answer to anyone that cured me of my habit of muttering under my breath."

Successful sales people are avid goal setters...

Bravo!

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

'Wow! no doubt about it son!...You'll grow up to be President of the United States!'

"Legs up to here!"

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

Do you mind if I nibble on your exclamation points? !!!