Suburban Story Aficionado Mugs

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

Channelling on the Cheap

Vampire on a plane

It's a good thing our neighbors don't know what weirdos we are.

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

'She wasn't a soccer mom after all -- she was a NINJA mom!'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."

Mega Construction Company: Paving Paradise and Putting Up Parking Lots for Over 50 Years. Deal with it.

"Welcome to the neighbourhood. I hope you like savory pies."

'I'm still trying to build up a following here, but I'm huge in Lilliput.'

Autumn Leaves

"I'm thinking about moving out of the suburbs."

"There! I heard it again!"

"Okay, okay - I'll keep my day job!"

"Same story - boy becomes girl."

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

THE SMITHS/THE JOHNSONS

"The Imaginary Playmate Meets the Invisible Fence"

'The world's first riding lawnmower.'

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

"We see this on occasion. People become self-actualized and empowered and they spontaneously combust."

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"The house is staged beautifully. The only thing left is to tell Duane to go inside during showings."

'It's my first dog house with indoor plumbing.'

"It's not that I love New York. It's just that I hate everyplace else."

Titian's Venus of Mamaroneck

"I'm home dear! So what have you been doing today?"

(Used to be) END.

"Remember, it's bad luck to eat a building that has a 13th floor."

Their guests having left, the Millers returned underground.

Couple in garden, "Look - Lawrence of suburbia."