Subpoena Sympathizer T-Shirts

'What do you have for the recently subpoenaed?'

"Wait, you never wash your cape?"

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Remember, junior, in America anyone can aspire to become the most powerful person in government - the special prosecutor!"

"I suppose you're worried about your little peasant benefits."

'Here's my report card and here's my personal disclaimer.'

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

'If you can hear me, Larry Gligstein, please send a text to 555-703-7193

"If you look carefully through this beaker of oil everything looks so much better..."

Snail to Slug.

'Flamin' tourists...'

"Bloody satellites..!"

Neighbourhood watch and slug watch.

and WHAT is this thing stuck in my back garden..?

Scary Slug Stories

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"The only planet within a radius of 8975 light years . . . you're simply unable to back into a parking space!"

Now, this is a good garden: full of weeds! The likelyhood of somebody trying to poison us here is very low...

'I'm happy to say that both parties agree on the issue. It's got bi-partisan non-support.'

Mayakovskiy V.V.

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

Close encounter.

Sorry to hear about your accident.

'Occupy' camp at St Paul's cathedral, London.

He's a rebel without a cause.

"Look, honey! All your lost eye glasses have mysteriously migrated to this drawer, and now they're plotting their next escape."

Innocent Civilians

"Brian says in 1976 we just got on with it."