Style Guardian Mugs

'Can't we meet somewhere else, dear? This is messing my hair.'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

New Suit.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Absolutely not!"

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

Mr Metrosexual.

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"That shirt is so last year."

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

His and Her wardrobe's

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'