Style Contradiction Enthusiast T-Shirts

"You not only have multiple personalities, but worse - They have a clashing sense of style."

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"This is a side of Manhattan you don't often see."

Arms reach through a mirror to straighten a man's bow tie.

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

"Nice haircut."

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Don't say a word! Your eyes, your hair, your T-shirt, your luggage—they say it all."

Basically, you should think outside the box, but don't color outside the lines!

The Return Of The Minipants

'For my latest line, I bought clothes at Target and then changed the label,'

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

Trendies, INC

Bald Man Overcomb

'He wears a necktie like he means it.'

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

SELECTIONS FROM THE "VICTOR'S SECRET" CATALOGUE

"No aliens"

It bag and no knickers!

"I'm thinking of letting my bangs grow out."

Georgian head-dress

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"If they fit, we can return them."

'This is me at my most masculine.'

A Revolution In Formal Wear! The Cummertie in Four Classic Styles!

'And, may I add, this hat does not scream, 'Bald Guy'.'

'Wonderful, Lesley! The calligraphy course paid off!'

'Don't worry, if you buy it, you don't have to wear it.'

"I had a dress once."

"It's a midriff warmer."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'I've no objection to children, darling, as long as they're carefully colour co-ordinated.'

"Would you care to step out of the shop and see how it looks in the fog, Mr. Holmes?"

"I forgot how to tie mine, too."