Style Commentator Pillows

'I'll tell you why I have a beard if you tell me why you shave yours off every day...'

'What about her hair? Doesn't anyone care about her hair?'

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

A women in a shoeshop.

Keeping warm.

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Mr Metrosexual.

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Do you like my little black number?'

At the suit makers

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

"A naked dress is perfect when you have nothing to wear."

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

His and Her wardrobe's

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

'Do you have anything a little longer in the leg ?'

'Has Oprah ever been married?'

"That shirt is so last year."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."