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What Bush's Torture Memos Can Do For You

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

The Three Wise Queens

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"If you really want independence, you should get into contract law."

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

I love Lawyers

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"Now that's a win."

"Hey, I just figured out how to sue the school for loss of my prime childbearing years."

'Forget the DaVinci Code! I'm still trying to crack the tax code!'

"Whoa, don't ask constitutional questions you don't want to know the answers to."

"By reading my note, you acknowledge having read and agreed to my Privacy Policy and Terms of Use."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Truth

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

Roe v. Wade

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Law School teacher.

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'