Student Of History T-Shirts

'I will not throw spears in class.'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

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Apples for sale

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

"Away with the warmonger!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"Anachronism or not, it just ain't the fourth without the ribs and Willie Nelson."

To Err Is Human, to Mess up Big-Time Is Democratic

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

"Hell, George - they even miss ME!"

New Resident of Downing Street

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

Harry S. Truman

'I suppose we've got to keep a sense of perspective. The Greeks waste our money, the French merely spend it.'

'General, please hire large armies of foreign mercenaries to complete the works of death, desolation and tyranny.'

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'If history keeps repeating itself, why do I have to repeat this class?'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"It's either the Ten Commandments or the Mueller Report."

The wrecking crew!

"Nixon was the same way when he first got here."

"When did Shakespeare die? Well it must have been a couple of days before his funeral..."

Kamikaze Colour

'I put that the pilgrims ate Butterball Turkey, Stove Top Stuffing, and Mrs. Smith's Pie. Think she'll give extra credit for brand names?'

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

Joe Biden