Strong-minded Gifts

Always right.

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Man practising karate is tempted by a glass of beer.

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

REPENT! Get back to nature

"Yes, we're stranded here... but think how healthier we are eating nothing but fish!"

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

Autocensure

"I may be an aged whiskey, but inside I still feel like a fresh ear of corn!"

'It's easy for you to climb the corporate ladder, you just lay your eggs and leave: No need for Maternity Leave!'

"60 Fortune 500 companies paid no federal taxes last year. . . meanwhile, thanks to a lack of funding, I no longer get dessert in my meals on wheels."

'Money, money, money, that's the only three things you ever think about.'

"I don't wear jewelry, but cash is nice."

You've got to admire his spunk.

Shows thought bubbles, only the umpires mind isn't on the game

"Beneath this calm exterior, I'm obsessed with making profits."

'O.K. lads, computer research shows this is the new winning plan to win the match.'

How do bright women get pregnant?

"I'm savings. Investing is across the hall."

"I'm not sure you're taking this bonus cap thing seriously."

A Very Good Idea

'And briefly, what is it that attracts you to a job in banking?'

'OK, here's the play, based on your prorated salaries...'

"Go home, you're not part of my target market."

"He got laid off six months ago. Been pounding the pavement ever since."

"The only problem I have with my belief system is that I always believe it."

"I can express my opinions to you because you have an open mind."

'On the bright side I can finally understand what your saying.'

'You can't say that all your campaign promises were slips of the tongue!'

A No-Nonsense Guy with His No-Nonsense Wife and Their No-Nonsense Dog

"Remember - every new idea requires a leap in the dark."

The toughest form of Mountain climbing is getting out of a rut.

Patents office, "That looks like a brilliant idea Mr Edison"

'That's the first Dollar I ever made -- I'm thinking of converting it to Euros.'