Stress Test Survivor Gifts

'That's right! No huffing a puffing for 30 minutes on a treadmill. We've developed a new stress test that is faster and more accurate.'

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Fight or Flight

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

Danger Slow Sand.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

Good Luck in your Exams.

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

Office worker pushing a pile of papers on trolley.

Examinations.

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

Deadlines

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

Just don't let the old man get you down.

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.