
Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."
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Reasons to avoid training No 234 - "I was on my way to the gym but then I heard that the DOW JONES had fallen 2.5%."
"You may have the weight of the world on your shoulders, but that's not why you're 10 pounds heavier."
'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'
Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'
Breakfast surreal.
Covid-19 Caution
"Let's stop for a second while my assistant brings me a stiff drink."
'Don't take it personally... he doesn't know I'm here either.'
Exercising in Confinement
'We've been through thick and thin. Tell me about the thin again.'
'OK, remain calm. Who's missing? Milk? Eggs? Cheese? Where'd they go? How much do they know? And will they talk?'
"My smarthome just sent me a text saying it's a mess, so it doesn't feel like having visitors right now."
'Have you ever noticed all the comfort food in a teachers lounge?'
"I sometimes eat and drink too much. My stomach gets very upset about it."
"That summit Johnson! Our goal is the summit!"
Office of Tax Simplification. Use other door. Not an entrance. Doing my taxes is confusing! It's so stressful I eat junk food for weeks. So, the same thing happens every April ... I find myself in a bigger slacks bracket.
'You can eat whatever you like on this diet, and here's a list of whatever you like.'
Man managing own stock portfolio with vulture in window.
I'd turn around if I were you...
Man with snail shell on back which smoke like a factory
'I couldn't get the beans out of the toaster.'
"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."
"Sergio, you know I don't snoop...but I was in Baldo's room this morning...and I found this."
'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'
"Dad, what is a meal?"
'Ms. Hanson, bring me some extra-strength comfort food.'
The online exercise class was going rather well.
Sometimes, instead of one big meal, I prefer tapas.
"I overeat when I'm stressed and I'm stressed about my weight."
Book Burp
'Are you genetically modified? - Then you'll love our G.M. food.'
'I won't tell my thighs if you don't..'
"I lost a client today and then the boss reemed me out and to top all that, I ran out of gas on the freeway. But all I could think about was that grilled cheese sandwich I was coming home to."
"Yeah, he calls me his best friend alright, but he's never shared his hot chips: not once!"
'I've had a really hard day -- make it a two-trip salad bar.'
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