Stress-free Student Pillows

'. . .while we are waiting fro the breakdown truck, ask no questions on the highway code.'

"I wasn't cheating. He's just peer mentoring and doesn't know it."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"What I do is pick up the morning paper, go through it carefully, and then, depending on how I feel about things, I either say the Pledge of Allegiance, stand there and do nothing, or walk out of the classroom."

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

'Does the Fifth Amendment apply to report cards?'

Trust

'The first exam was easy as ABC, but that one felt more like a D,E or F.'

'You have failed on all counts...'

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

"I passed the three R's. Now I need some R and R!"

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

'Why do I have to go to school! Can't you just buy me a smartphone!!'

Parental Role Model

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'There is NO way I can perform under that kind of pressure!'

"Stop the clowning, Johnson. The final isn't going to be all that bad."

'I keep failing my spelling tests. I think my brain needs more RAM.'

You've got to help me, Em. Sure. My mom's hot on this strict, Chinese-style parenting. Welcome to my world. Tell her that your parents aren't pushing you to be a doctor. Sure. They gave up on that. They'll settle for Harvard law school. That's too much information.

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

Graduation Day At A Party School

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

"By the time I count to 10, you'd better be doing your math homework!"

Test Therapy

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

Giving thanks.

"I'm failing 16th century British History, so now I have to get a Tudor."

'Humans can't change into bloodthirsty monsters? Forget it! You should have seen my dad when I showed him the last class test!'

"I wrote my thesis in just one day. Is there something wrong with that?"

'Your first day of student teaching?'

Teacher to other about broken book on broken ground: 'It's a heavy subject for him.'

'I knew 'school ends today' sounded too good to be true.'

"I'm experiencing student burnout."