Stress Commentary Gifts

"Stay frenetic"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Apparently, Smith's desk just couldn't withstand the weight of the paperwork we piled on his desk.'

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

Fight or Flight

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'I want to empower you to fulfill your potential! If you can work 16 hours today, then your 20-hours shift tomorrow should really elevate your self-esteem'!

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

"I'm too busy to be stressed."

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Stresses Can Have a Motivating Effect...If They Don't Kill You!

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Danger Slow Sand.

"When you've been here as long as I have, you'll start to burn out"

"Look Billington, if you can't take the strain, tell me, ok?"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"I don't know whether your tired, anxious, nervous, or whatever. But it looks like a clear case of performance anxiety."

Deadlines

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

Just don't let the old man get you down.

Desk sign reads: Tom Bagley's Outer Shell.