Strength Appreciator Pillows

'This is the last time I go golfing with a lumberjack.'

"Of course, I'm perfectly willing to pay my income tax, but I stayed home all day on the fifteenth, and nobody came."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

'Checkmate!'

"My kid could do that."

"New money, Bobby, is old money that got away."

"...Looks like nothing but snow on TV tonight..."

'He had bulging muscles and a wallet to match!'

Late-Onset Epiphany

Cat with Crown.

'You'll like this, sir. Instead of the usual boring bio, this year I've done your creation myth.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

Arm wrestling champion. (man in wheelchair).

'One day I just decided, screw it - I'm as rich as hell and I'm not going to fake it anymore.'

"The magic's still there, but the sex is terrible."

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

"Your tech gadgets will become obsolete, but the nice thing about money is it never goes out of style."

Great Urban Sprawl

'To enable them to provide the service we require the procurement team have submitted a request for seven wands, a crystal ball and a time machine...'

'Your opinions are a rephrasing of my opinions. I like that in a subordinate.'

Deep pockets on line two.

"I hope your parents appreciate the effort I make to get dressed and leave the house."

Perpetual Motion.

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Everyone thinks they can do it

'I liked being a millionaire before everyone became one.'

"Daddy is fiscally buff."

'That's not cologne. I was just rolling around in our huge cash reserves.'

"Baldo, no one likes being told what to do...but taking direction is a part of life."

"...and this is my better half...!"

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

A butler holds down a tennis net so his master can more easily jump over it to shake the hand of his opponent.