Street Justice Enthusiast Gifts

Roving gang of judges dispensing their own brand of street justice.

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

Slow Night

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

Mou...Man trap!

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Spiritual Lives Matter

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'An injunction against the First Amendment? - Can we DO that?'

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'How do you like THAT disparate impact?'

"It's not really perjury if you're a compulsive liar."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

NO GIRLS ALLOWED!, 'Don't get all bent out of shape -- that's the boys' restroom.'

Penitentiary (No Criminal Testing).