Streaming Service Subscriber Gifts

Fire Up the Netflix

Happy STRANGER THINGS Day! (11/06)

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

Wine of the Day Club

"You look pleased with yourself. What gives, little buddy?" "Well..." "...Netflix was removing their 'Voltron' reboot, so I spent forty hours straight streaming it. I finished all eight seasons with seconds to spare." "It was worth it. The show was so insanely good that it made me feel like I was ten years old again..." "...like I just skateboarded home with a Mountain Dew and a bag of Funyons after watching 'Footloose.'" "Something tells me my '80s were a lot sexier than your '80s."

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

"Look, all we did was sleep together. I saved watching 'Game of Thrones' for us."

"That was good, but we could have watched it on my phone."

'Aye, but can you guys get 500 channels with those hooks?'

Man with fake beard gets a package from the Beard of the Month club.

"It's a weak pilot, but, if your stick with it, by Season 3 you grow completely numb to the show's quality and just keep hitting Next Episode."

'Are you going to stay up all night making YouTuba videos?'

The Digital Dark Ages

"Sixty three percent of my life is on video."

After our sun sheds the last of its energy and collapses in on itself... ...after the solar systems degraded, their planets flung out and consumed... And after those billions of stars in their billions of galaxies are all slowly snuffed out one by one... ...and after the last of the supermassive black holes evaporates... A single last question will remain, drifting through the long, cosmic dark... To renew your universe, please update your payment details.

"This year has been a disaster. But, my breaking point was when Apple TV+ hijacked 'It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown,' away from network television."

"We had 17 first time viewers on the live stream sermon today." (pastor talking to his wife)

"Sometimes, you will be asked to go days without Netflix."

"It's going to be my first protest song, as soon as I can figure out some words that rhyme with 'Napster,' 'Bertelsmann,' and 'service charge.'"

Club of the Month

"How many times are you going to playback that last episode of 'Friends'?"

Earth wearing Mickey Mouse hat

"I just don't see a future for us Jane, our Netflix wish lists are just too different."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

You're on in five! Got it! Okay, Ernie! This is the biggest crowd we've ever played for! I can't wait to greet the audience! Hello Chicago! And London, San Antonio, Rochester, Greenville, Columbus, Sao Paulo, Ogden, San Jose, Seattle, Grand Rapics, Washington, DC, Las Vegas, Santa Ana, Terre .... Remote shows.

Melvin's life flashed before his eyes after a brief internet ad.

The New Austerity.

"Yes, you're right, we definitely live in a stream, but NO, that doesn't make us streamable content!"

'Did you see iPlayer last night?'

Our bank account is now behind a paywall...

"I didn't know you COULD finish Netflix."