Strategic Planners T-Shirts

'In terms of vision, this company has lost its way. Is anybody here good with GPS?'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

"De l'huile bouillante, pas du fromage fondu!"

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Each company is making it hard to choose between merger offers.'

"Looks like we found the issue."

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Now that I have your attention...'

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Dammit, Johnson. You've got to start thinking outside of the box."

Group Think Time

"We need a best practice swim lane to leverage our core competency, move the needle outside the box, and open the kimono while keeping our ducks in a row. Can anyone give me a sustainable solution to more vertical effectiveness without getting too granula

"#Win!"

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

'I want you to paddle against the current.'

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"Quit stalling, Smithers. Where's the SALES chart?"

"He's his own worst enemy."

'I think we'd be more confident about meeting our targets if we could work out what they were!'

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Our Two Parties, Explained