Storytime Strategist Pillows

"Maybe little Jack Horner became argumentative because he was backed into a corner, leaving him no options."

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

"No offense Dad, but is this available on DVD?"

"And after the prime rate declined by half a point, the Dow rose by thirty-two, guess what happened to Goose and Fox?"

'Sorry, Billy, but story reading takes place during 'Quality Time'. During 'Fiscal Responsibility Time' we discuss prudent investment strategies.'

"...and then the heroic young investor managed to capture the evil high interest rate monster and wrestled him down until he was a mere 5.25%!"

"Do you accept these terms and conditions?"

"You know, of course, I'm going to have to swallow you whole."

"After the fourth reading of 'Knuffle Bunny,' Ed went 'old school'... You are getting very, very sleepy... so sleepy..."

My third wish would be, another three wishes!

'Roll the adverts Dad. I need the toilet.'

"Daddy sometimes finds the visual imagery in your story books so graphic he faints."

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

"The Prince and the Princess lived happily ever after on the income from their capital appreciation funds."

". . . while Rip slept, his stock portfolio went way up. . . and everyone lived happily ever after."

A Hole in the Dike

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'A is for Arse.'

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

Parenting Skills Training

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"It's by A.I. Milne."

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Noah's Nark.

"At last they paid off their sub-prime fairy-tale and lived happily ever after."

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

"Our market research predicts this product mascot will be irresistible to both men and women..."