Storytime Starter Mugs

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Swan Fairy Tales

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'And you're telling me this, why?'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - Alice Climbs Through The Mirror.

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"Dad—will the heroine go into rehab?"

"And what's the story behind the story?"

Parenting Skills Training

". . . and they lived happily ever after. . . in an aspirational sort of way."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"It had an interesting emotional arc and some nice plot twists, but the heroine and subsidiary characters were unconvincing within the historical context."

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

"Can you read me a bedtime story about ponies, next time?"

Noah's Nark.

Grimm's Fairytales - Pee Wit; Luring Villagers into the Lake

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

'Freddie, the Little Merger Mogul, didn't expect to have a monopoly right away...'

"My imaginary friend is sitting there."

"Mom, what season is it when the leaves fall off the trees and are replaced with plastic bags?"

'But then after chopping down the beanstalk, Jack's legal nightmare began...'

How to murder birds

"And all was good within the kingdom...until the evil prince introduced income tax!"

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"These beans that Jack planted...can we assume they were genetically modified?"

"Ancient times? Is that like when my grandmother was young?"