Storytime Wizard Mugs

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

'Deep in the woods, the children came upon the most wondrous sight.'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'A is for Arse.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"Here’s a book with a pretty peacock on the cover. Let’s try this Flannery O’Connor story before bed."

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

Sleepy Bunny