Storytime Sleuth Pillows

Noah falls asleep by counting animal pairs.

Swan Fairy Tales

The Poky Little Pupa.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Go figure: nobody wanted to kiss me when I was an ugly prince, but now, somehow, pretty girls are lining up!"

'Sue didn't watch soap operas all the time. She also reads books'

'Come on, girl! I know you can do it! Jump over the moon!'

'We're out of water, Jack. Time to go back up the hill to fetch a pail.'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"Well did he?"

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'Mummy, the review of this book was more interesting.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"Fellow graduates, when I look at you, I see future princesses, ninjas, wizards, superheroes, and zombies."

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'