Storytime Investor T-Shirts

'Everyone lived happily ever after? Was the Stock at an all time high then, like it is now?'

The Poky Little Pupa.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

Little Princess.

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

'A is for Arse.'

'Come on Jill, they say the water's well good.'

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'I'm glad you're reading my night night story. Dad being a tax attorney only reads chapter 11.'

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

"We call it 'learning to read', not 'battling illiteracy'."

Sleepy Bunny

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."