Storytelling Savant Pillows

Janey then realized that babysitting isn't easy...

'Right, how can I help you?' 'Your wife is having it off with my husband!'

"It's a doomsday scenario...I love it."

When business got slow in Hollywood, script consultant Herb Purvis made a surprisingly easy transition to the manufacturing sector of the economy.

"Bob, this is exactly how gentrification starts.

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Victor Hugo

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

I have an idea - Let's sit around the campfire and watch scary movies on our iPads!

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Grizzly bears are gregarious animals.

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

See, Catty-O? I told you dinner was included with admission.

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

Kirsten Johnson

"This is what's known as a book."

Jacques et Jille

Hansel and Gretal

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"