Storyteller Of War Tales Pillows

War victim coming out of the television.

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"I guess I was a good shot, because I took down 50 Nazis...all by myself. That's how I got my silver star. Honestly, I don't consider myself a hero. I consider myself lucky."

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

"The knights of the round accent table"

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Rocket Ark

"Did you call for a Medic?"

Harry Chauvel & T. E. Lawrence

Uncle Mort, you fought in Korea, right? You think that war will start up again? Not if I can help it. It was the morning of July 27, nineteen hundred and fifty-three. I was pinned down on Pork Chop Hill. My bazooka had run out of ammo. All I could find to load into it was a stuffed panda bear. I loaded it and fired that bear into the maw of the enemy. It struck one of them atop the noggin. Moments later, the armistice was signed. Every July 27th, I awaken at dawn and chuck that same panda at the

'Oh, just my old war injury acting up.'

War and Peace GIF

Left Behind

European Arms Proliferation - 1860's

'It's been five years since leaving Iraq and I'm still getting the sand out my ears.'

Triple espresso. Forget it, Uncle Mort. Let's face facts: You're not as young as you used to be. Too much caffeine can literally kill you. Poppycock! Do you know who you're talking to? When we stormed across Europe under Patton, my tank battalion got stuck in the mud during a torrential downpour. Arty Lang switched my canteen full of rainwater with one full of tank gas. So I replaced his tank's timing belt with tree bark and dental floss. That big galoot and I were always pranking each other lik

"Henry took a shower yesterday right next to Winthrop Rockefeller."

Defence Cuts: 'This is getting serious Sergeant, bring up the re-enforcements!'

"Most of the time, war...it makes no sense. A lot of times, we'd hear artillery whistling over our heads. But really, you can't move. You just wait...and wait...until it hits...and hope it isn't hitting you."

'Literary agency' "About your idea for a book on NATO's role in Kosovo? Russian author got there first"

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."

Lady of the Remote

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'They want the medals back. Apparently, you used a Vicks inhaler before going over the top in 1916.'

'Honey, please don't ask Grandaddy about the war.'

The origin of 'Rorke's drift' has long been a subject of intense speculation.

And I got an honorary Purple Heart for sticking myself with one of my flag pins.

"The Balkans. This is where I came in."

Lawrence of Arabia

A cavalier gentleman.

'Honey, this is my Uncle Duggie . . . he lost most of his DNA during the war.'

'At least never knowing who's a friendly should prepare me for a career in business.'