Storyteller Of Breakups Prints

We got together during lockdown but it didn't work out

Pony express. Pony express yourself. Pony express yourself so much he left.

"It's not you-it's me."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"It's over between us, Kevin, I've met a most wonderful cod!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"It's not what you think."

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

'What are you doing trying to tempt me?? I told you I was through with you!!'

'When I said we should see other people, I didn't mean starting tonight.'

"I've been getting the most intense workouts since I taped a picture of my ex on the heavy bag!"

"Smiley, where will we be in 10 years?"

'She was upset about breaking up with 'Phoenix',your 'plenty more fish in the sea' just made it worse!'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"Recently separated."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"This won't work, Josh. I'm bottled water. You're tap."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"If you ask me, we're better off without her."

'I'm sorry Sandy, but it'll never work out. We're just Poles apart.'

"Poor guy..he just got a 'Dear John' fax!"

Yin And Yang break up

"You've come to the right lawyer. I not only do divorces, I also specialise in bankruptcy proceedings."

'Do you have one that says 'It's all over but I'm keeping the ring'?'

'Tech support? If I send a 'Dear John' email to someone named Bob, will it get through?'

'I don't think that it's going to work out between us.'

'This relationship just isn't working. I'm out.'

"Of course we'll still be friends...."

What's the matter, Emily? Jeremy the jerk dumped me. I can't take it. My whole insides hurt. You'll be better off without him. Thanks, Twig. Youre lucky you didn't fall in love. Sigh. I wish I had a broken heart!

"The bathroom window is wide open. I don't think she's coming back."

"I think it's time I left Mr. Right!"

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

Boss, what's the best way to break up with someone without hurting her feelings? Hush money. What? Offer the dumpee a cashier's check for $5,000 on the condition she refrains from having hurt feelings. If she just can't do that, then you should be compassionate and offer her a $1,000 check as long as she agrees not to burden you with her hurt feelings. Very bad man. Compassion is an essential component of any severance package.

"It's no bed of mice and string for me either."