Storyteller In Stripes Pillows

'I have great hopes for my next alibi -- I'm taking a creative writing course.'

'I'm only here to pep up my autobiography.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"On New Year's Eve, Clement and I stayed up all night drinking. Tea, of course."

'You're doing a play in kindergarten?'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Kirsten Johnson

Three little pigs-mortgage.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'I'm sorry but my little boy, Jack, ruined them all today.'

"I can't tell you how it ended. That would ruin the sequel."

Baby Bear.

Reading

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"Its my letter of resignation. I also turned it into a memoir."

Mephistopheles

"Simon, I'm not really interested in your juvenilia."

Gag - a graphic novel

Young Stephen King

"Dear Mom and Dad: Thanks for the happy childhood. You've destroyed any chance I had of becoming a writer."

Purple Fairy

Ted knew he had a bestseller. Now all he had to do was fill the middle bits in.

'Your imagination was so powerful he became real. It happens to me all the time.'

I get my ideas on sale...

My Prince.

"My report on summer vacation. . . Book and movie rights are available for $1000 each."

"I'm going to read a statement and then I'll take questions.''

The Battle of the Pictures.

'Of course, it's your business, but I wouldn't ever start a resume with 'Once upon a time in a land far far away!''

"She then bit into the poison apple, hoping it would fend off the hostile takeover."

'Steroids.'

'Can you tell me where James Herriot lives?'

"You know, it's a picture book. Needless to say, it doesn't have a lot of narrative scope."