Storybook Scholar Mugs

"Once you've jumped over the moon, standing around in a field all day just doesn't cut it."

Free Little Library

"It isn't much of a dragon, but then, she wasn't much of a maiden."

The Princess and the Particle

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

Late night teddy reading

The Runaway Horse

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Papageno from The Magic Flute

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

'Charlotte's Website' ('The children's book classic rewritten for the electronic era!')

The Shed Mystery: 'Ah! There you are! Ok, that's enough...time to go ho...uh...wait...what the...?'

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

"Where the wild things were."

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

Knights of the bedside table.

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Well did he?"

Cupid

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

Sleeping Beauty

'He said he won't give me a new heart unless I change my lifestyle.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Many princes attempted to wake Sleeping Beauty, before one of them simply kissed her'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page