Story Summarizer Mugs

"This is all I have time for now, dear...the knight slays the dragon and marries the princess. For more detail go to www.fairytale.net."

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"It will be okay to hop when you go home but don't try to run."

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"White Collar Prison"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'Why is it always about me?'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Undercover Biophysicists

"Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien,"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"So then how do you explain trigonometry, tough guy!"

Moses as a mobster.

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'