Stork Fan Pillows

"So which HMO do you plan to join?"

'Boy, if you'd just stop roaming around, it would be easier to find you...'

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

'No, they're not my children. They gave me these for doing a good job at work.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

'Hey Kiddo, I think we'll have to stop to change your nappy...'

'Why did the chicken cross the road?'

"I wish they'd never discovered fertility drugs!"

Lumberjack and tree share a smile.

Maternity Hospital

Melanie Griffith

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

'Ouch! I'm glad I didn't lay him.'

Already overworked at the Vlasic Plant, an exhausted stork shatters a young couple's dreams,

Turkey Farm Inc: 'And guess what you get for a Christmas bonus?'

Ramon was a polished performer, but this was madness. . . A square peg in a round hole, unassisted, and blindfolded!!

If chickens had lips...'Thank God! I made it to the other side!'

Pregnancy

"I haven't been fond of humans since one of them coined the phrase, 'in the soup'."

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

'Culled?! That's a relief...I thought you said we were gonna be killed!'

Thanksgiving Turkey Weight and Fortune

Back Alley Bacon

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

God raises the steaks.

An Australian man with flying platypi on the wall (instead of flying ducks).

Burning the Scarecrow

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

"Omelettes again?!"

Rudy, Must you keep singing that song...' children in the morning...children in the evening...children at suppertime?

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supearvisor's uniform!'

'I smell something burning.'

Barnyard Motel. You'll get your (cursing symbols) wake-up call when I say you'll get your (cursing symbols) wake-up call.