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Mashed Potatoes.

Stoned Henge

Hash brown

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Zombie standup

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

The Rooster Comedian.

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

A Golden Non-Retriever

At the primate speech center, Mokobo tries some stand-up comedy...

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

Girl in cow onesie.

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

St. Elmo's fired.

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"Am I sensing fear?"

'More government surveillance!'

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'We're looking for someone to liven up our Monday morning job meetings. Can you handle it Chuckles?'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."