Stone-baked Sarcologist Prints

"One supreme."

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

'Did you clear this through Legal first?'

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'I knew this was a bad place to work when I saw that they call the company handbook 'the Owner's Manual.''

Redhead

'I've got an exciting new assignment for you. You're going to share one salary.'

"Try unplugging it and throwing it out the window."

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

"Phizby, your can't do attitude has really cut down on screw-ups around here. Keep up the good work!"

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"I've founded my own religion." "Of course you have, Rudy." "It's off to a good start. Already, it's being mocked by people of other faiths." "If history's any guide, within a couple hundred years, it'll be widely accepted and people who don't believe in it will be persecuted." "What are the central tenets of your religion?" "A true Rudian knows that life is suffering, and winning arguments online is salvation."

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

"Of course I'm making things worse. Do you think I'd work for what you're paying me if I knew how to make things better?"

'I've decided to make you someone else's problem.'

"They're at that age where it's only cool to wag ironically."

"I love college."

'He lost his whistle,'

'The fact that you worked as an unpaid intern shows you don't understand the concept of being a banker.'

'To Err is human...but to forgive is against company policy!'

"Can't you just troll me?"

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"Where the hell were you fourteen years ago?"

"Congratulations, gentlemen - we have achieved failure."

"How about fashionably never?"

"Hey - let's not us re-invent wheel."

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

'I'm always broke because I keep getting MUGGED!'

"Allow me to explain the terms of our easy payment plan."

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."