Stock Prediction Expert T-Shirts

Why markets crash.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"For details on the bear market, here's a bear..."

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

What happens when the bears are running the market.

Depressed Businessman at Office Christmas Party.

'I'll be in late, Ms.Fernwood. Did I get any important margin calls, default, stock splits, foreclosures or bailouts?'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

"I hope you're not going to let this I.P.O. affect your grades."

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''