Stock Market Shaker T-Shirts

"Liquidity is when you wake up one day to see your pension pot has vanished, then you wet yourself."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'He's so rich, when he writes a cheque the bank bounces.'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Dragon's den desk. 'I'm in' and 'I'm out' tray on desk.

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

"...That's agreed then, we raise our salaries by 40%..."

'You simply put up a minimum of $2,500. If the price of fish goes up, your investment goes up. If the price of the fish goes down, your investment goes down.'

Tesla Shares Tanking Into Swastika

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

It's 10 p.m. Do you know how low your investment banking stocks can go?

'Do it over. You spelled 'buy' wrong.'

Animal worries.

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

'I couldn't sleep so I decided to do some on-line trading.'

Finance piracy

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"I didn't just store my acorns - I invested them in a high performance stock portfolio."

Risk management

'Well, now do you believe that snow global warming is real?'

'We've got to get our clients to think of long term investments. By long term, I man until we retire.'

'Whadaya mean my fixed income is broken?'

"Patel confirmed"

"Yes, I'm the fund manager. Greed is good!"

"I made a killing on the stock market, then my wife made a killing on me!"

Gordon Gekko