Stock Market Analysts T-Shirts

Man asking a clairvoyant about the future.

Telsa Sales

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Great Chinese Dynasties

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Build Your Own Portfolio

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"In the event of an actual S.E.C. investigation, legal representation will drop from the ceiling."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

'How to time the market' seminar - 2pm, postponed to 3pm, then to 4pm.

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."