Stock Enthusiast Pillows

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

"My favorite time of year is earnings season."

Fortune - Lost a Fortune.

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

"This is what I wanted to show you, Gentlemen - a wonderful buying opportunity"

'I'll show you my investment opportunity if you'll show me yours.'

'Today the market fell because Bernanke said the word 'down' more than once in a speech.'

Large 'Small caps' man looks weedy in 'Stock market' mirror.

"Our guest today is Santa Claus, who will tell us never to stop believing in Santa Claus rallies."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

'Please enjoy the riffle of currency and the jingle of coins while waiting for an investment counselor.'

Brokers Yard.

"Stocks closed higher on news someone at the Federal Reserve was quoted as saying 'What, me worry?'"

'I think my dad's favorite team is the 'the bulls'.'

"Apparently shares can go down, as well as plunging into meltdown and spinning into free-fall."

Investments: thrill-seekers welcome.

Stock Exchange. I don't worry about whether or not stocks are going to fall. I worry about whether they're going to bounce or go "splat" when they do fall.

STOCK MARKET ANALYST (And other odd jobs).

Never understood the 'buy low, sell high' theory.

'Do you really think a rally cap will work for your stocks?'

'Today the market corrected itself AND Leonard.'

Bull and Bear Nightmare

Testosterphone

'Get my broker on the phone, please, stock not pawn?'

Statue of businessman has space for stock advertising.

The day the stock market went UP.

'The Dow hit 10,000 ... the Recession is over!'

"That's Bob, He's in charge of our corporate raids."

"At least this damn pullback is pulling back lots of money from the wrong hands."

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Today the stock market was quiet - not a single rumour that led to frantic buying or selling."

'We ran your portfolio through the Bull-O-Meter and it showed excellent growth potential. . .'