Stink Slayer Mugs

'I get that a lot.'

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Giant slug attacks a city

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

An archeologist uncovers a nasty stench in 'The Discovery of King TOOT-IN-COFFIN'.

Medicine.

"Luckily the days are long gone when we just labeled people as "mad"'

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

Internet crap.

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

'This will kill the spores.'

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

It feels good to stop wasting water. Al Gore would be proud. And electricity - Don't forget we're saving on that. That would be used to heat the water, and light the room. We no longer encourage the manufacture of chemical-based cleansing products sold in wasteful plastic and paper packaging. Stop! Men should not rationalize their failure to shower every day on the basis that it's environmentally friendly. Oh, how you hate Mother Earth. I like inhaling without stink. My smell is organic.

"Josephine, my man!"

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

Highest Anxiety

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"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."

Let me handle him okay?