Stepsibling Gifts

"I was called an ugly duckling, but really, my step-brother Fred was far uglier, and he was a real duckling!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

Come dine with me!

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

"Ahhh... close enough."

The Art Student.

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

Glastonbury. After.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Polly txt speak

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

At the Museum

Grace For Flies

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

I like the Jets...I guess

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Hamburger bar, "I don't like the look of this Charlie"

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

Wildlife

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Packaging Russian Dolls

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."