Step-grandparent Pillows

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

The Zoo.

Madonna of the Pukes.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

The Baby Walker

"Look Mommy, hat!"

'I told you it would be useful.'

'Ahhh...'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Paul Klee

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Baby Piano

My First Camera

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Nathaniel Hawthorne