Step-grandparent Pillows

"Thanks to separations, divorces and remarriages, I've got 20 grandparents."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

The Zoo.

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

Madonna of the Pukes.

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

"Look Mommy, hat!"

The Baby Walker

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

Paul Klee

'Ahhh...'

"I got a gold star for going the longest without looking at my phone in class."

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'I told you it would be useful.'

My First Camera

Baby Piano

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Pool attached to child's bed.

Diner.

Nathaniel Hawthorne