Steaks Pillows

"...let me guess - two rump steaks, very rare and two bloody marys..."

'One sissy steak!'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

'My client, Skippy, is suing for a twenty-ounce sirloin, medium-rare.'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"Hmmm ... either my steak knife is broken, or you cooked the heck out of this fillet."

"Steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, steak for dinner. . . you can't stop evolution!"