Steak Specialist Pillows

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

T-Bones STEAK House...NO sissy salad bar!...Heimlich expert always on duty'

'On the contrary... I'm too tough for the steak!'

'I cleaned over thirty fish today.' - 'That takes guts.'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

What's your thumb doing on my steak? Want me to drop it again?

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"How would you like your steak sir—really well done or raw? We've got a new chef."

The Best Little Steak House in the City.

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"And how would you like your steak?"

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"I only recommend the 24 oz. Prime rib for big fat guys."

'Doctor please come quick! His fever has gone from medium rare to well done!'

"Some protein with my salad? Sure, put a 24 ounce Ribeye in it."

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'We saw the first robin...he saw the first London broil.'

Elevator buttons : Rare, Medium, Well done.

Artist depicts cow as large steak.

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

'OK, sir, sorry that meat was too rare for you. It should be fine now.'

"Veal or non-veal?"

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Cow Gag Gifts

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'The Big Beg Theory'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

"One medium rare and one with honey."

"Your steak's prepared in the firebox of a 17th century tank engine - unfortunately sir, the chef can't confirm if it has 0-60T wheel arrangement or not."

"No, I'm not calling for order in the court. I'm tenderizing a porterhouse steak. Do continue, counselor."