Std Awareness Champion Pillows

'I have to take this, my doctor is calling with some test results.'

"This isn't helping my migraine."

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

AIDS prevention

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

Bubbling

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

'How many kids do you actually have?'

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"You probably already know this disease from the walkathon of the same name."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

AIDS prevention

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

Opium Den 2019

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

Zika sexually transmitted

"But do you feel invisible?"

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

Prostate Issues

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

Should have used a higher SPF...

'By the time we grow up we'll have complete equality with men...Ulcers, high blood pressure,heart attacks...'

'It's very rare. We don't even have a colored ribbon for it yet.'