Statistics Savant T-Shirts

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'No, it's not really good - that's our lawsuits-to-earnings ratio.'

Bullseye!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Where was I?

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Decision Making Block

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'15% of Americans don't have chairs in their living rooms, and of that 15%, 73% don't even realize it.'

'I say we try it.'

'He's a media consultant. He came with the multimedia software package.'

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

'You failed your Latin exam! But Sweety, it's important to learn Latin: All your friends' names have Latin roots...'

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"No, he's not in right now, he's out demographing."

'They're called 'numbers' -- Now we can have public opinion polls!'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

Your male pattern baldness is partly genetic and partly hereditary.

Vaccines against Covid

"Aw, Johnny... Why did you have to go and change... You've mutated!"