Statistical Sleuth Gifts

"In a way, I AM kind of famous. But you've probably never heard of me unless you happen to travel in actuarial circles."

"Actually, 48.7% of statistics are made-up."

'. . . and 14% said they didn't own a TV set, although I could hear it in the background!'

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Joan Hickson

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

"This is where things started getting really weird."

If at first you don't succeed call it version 1.0

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

Undercover Biophysicists

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

GM Crops Genie.

Newton's Law and Order.

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

'It's something to do with a Microsoft copyright infringement.'

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

"...Software upgrade provides a seamless transition from simple functionality to multi-platform confusion, chaos and frustration..."

Schrodingers cat at the vets

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'