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101 uses of a dead cat: pencil sharpener

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'C'mon get it straight.'

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

"I've put on a few ounces, but it's mostly paperweight."

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Do you ever feel like you were meant for something else?"

The paperless office sign covered in post-it notes

Stationery Shop

"Hold on a second, Bob. I'm putting you on a stickie."

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

Man with post it note

"Remember, 'borrowing' a pencil means not eating it like you did last time."

Dip Pen

"I want one of those. He takes notes and DOODLES at the same time."

Office: Empowerment Drawer.

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

'And this is our new INTERACTIVE card - you buy the blank cardboard and write it yourself!'

"I think my little talk on 'abuse of office stationery' went rather well today dear."

'So! -- You're the one who's been stealing the office supplies!'

'Hold me!'

"Pencil eraser."

Company Ink.